fallen to earth

Well, I’ve finally jumped on the blog bandwagon. I’m doing this partly because I’m bored but also because I like to think a lot, much more than most, and I think it would be nice if some of those thoughts get recorded some how instead of having them slip away forever. Anyways, I guess this is the part when I’m supposed to talk about my current mood. Well, at the moment I’m……lonely. Very lonely in fact. It’s strange because I used to never mind being alone, in fact, I used to value solitude. But for some reason lately I have had a change of heart and mind. I have also recently come to the realization that I have no true friends and I have never been in a relationship before. I mean, I have friends that I see at school and such but not the type that would call me to hang out outside of that environment. And, like I said before I have never been in a relationship and this scares me because I feel as if just about everyone I know is either in love or has at least experienced that before and I feel like I’m so behind. I mean, I’ve always been attracted to girls but in the past I never really wanted to pursue a relationship with them, but now that I’m in college I really feel the need to be in a relationship. It just sucks though, because I am, by far, the most self-conscious person I know, and I have every reason to be that way. For starters, I am not the most attractive person in the world (to put it nicely). This bothers me so much. I wish I was one of those guys that is so good-looking that they always carry themselves with a sense of confidence (of which I have none). Those types of guys can go up to girls that they don’t even know and talk to them without any hesitation. Also, socially I’m awkward (to say the least). Although, I must say recently I have improved on this. I’m more talkative and social then I was in the past and if someone would have met me even a year or two ago, it would be like meeting a completely different person. Anyways, I think this is all I’ll reveal for today and if anyone out there is reading this PLEASE give me feedback!!!

PS- I know the picture is totally unrelated to this. Its a picture of a street light that I took this morning when it was still dark out and I really like it cause it looks like the sun at night or during an eclipse or something. I hope you like it too!!

The Dark Star


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January 2010
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